http://ijumped.net poppy
Slowly, slowly I am losing a deep-seated feeling of guilt that has been with me during my first months of working for myself, not having a “job”.
I was brought up in a climate where having a “secure job” was the primary career aim for most people. It was ground into be throughout my childhood and early adulthood, and even though I am committed to my new life, the guilt was very prominent every single day.
If I went out during the “working day” – never mind that I had started work at the PC at 6:30am – I still felt guilty about taking “time off” when “normal” people were working. I wondered what people would think of me, seeing me out and about during the day in my casual clothes.
I know – it’s all so stupid – but the long-ingrained teaching that I ought to have a “proper job”, and that only layabouts hang around town in the day time in their casual clothes – it caused me such guilt which has only now started to diminish after all these months.
Now, the guilt is still there, but hardly at all. I KNOW that this is what I want and this is what I am going to do whatever the consequences, because it is just so ME. It’s a great feeling.
Authors bio is coming up shortly.
